Chrissy G

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

I MUST FORGET YOU By Christina Grimaldi

Fill my ears with tar so I can not hear you
Gauge my eyes out so I can not see you
Rip out my tongue so I will no longer cry out your name
I MUST FORGET YOU

posted by Chrissy G @ 9:12 AM  

4 Comments:

  • At October 21, 2004 at 2:34 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    Chrissy,
    I did like where you were going with the poem but found that it actually sounded a bit awkward as an all together piece.

    I think either the way you arranged the poem in its lines or the way the rhythm falls is what drove me away. The lines are really quite long and they are not even either. The metric system is really thrown off here and, though I suppose it could work as free verse, I didn't think it was well developed in that sense.

    The emotion behind it was good and the originality of the poem was great too, but otherwise I wasn't very fond of it.

    Caitlin

     

  • At October 21, 2004 at 3:20 PM, Blogger anthonyferreira said…

    For me this poem is too close to conversation - and in this, it doesnt make for very interesting poetry or using Rosita's terminology, it isn't 'Energized' enough to be poetic.

    The images in the poem don't do much for me. 'fill my ears with tar','*Gouge my eyes out', and 'Rip out my tongue' don't incite my imagination. Overall i'm not too fond of it.

     

  • At October 22, 2004 at 11:50 AM, Blogger Unknown said…

    I completely agree with Anthony about the 'conversation' characteristics this poem has. He took the words right out of my mouth.

     

  • At October 23, 2004 at 10:36 AM, Blogger L said…

    I must agree with Anthony and Caitlin...this poem isn't really doing much for me. I think maybe if it was expanded or different words were used, it could definitely work. I like the idea behind it though. The gouge my eyes out line definitely reminds me of Oedipus Rex...pretty gory, but it gets the point across. For me, the lack of rhythm turns me off...I tend to be attracted to rhythmic poems.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home