Breaking up is hard to do!
Break Up
by Christina Grimaldi
Goodbye
Don't cry
It was fun
Now it's done
Don't stall
Don't call
Nothing to show
Let love go
No more tears
One less fear
New tomorrows
Fewer sorrows
Less pain
More to gain
New beginnings
Start forgiving
No regrets
You, I won't forget
The style of this poem was inspired by Cathy Dean's poem Rules and Regulations. Although Dean's poem is satirical and mine is not, I really liked the structure of her poem. The lines were short and to the point. I feel that you don't always need so many words to express yourself, sometimes the fewer the words the better. I wrote this poem because I have recently endured a break up and the words came to me easily. I hope you like it, and for those of you who have recently experienced a break up or still healing from one I hope that my poem helps you to see that you will get over it and that brighter things are in store for you. Keep positive!!
by Christina Grimaldi
Goodbye
Don't cry
It was fun
Now it's done
Don't stall
Don't call
Nothing to show
Let love go
No more tears
One less fear
New tomorrows
Fewer sorrows
Less pain
More to gain
New beginnings
Start forgiving
No regrets
You, I won't forget
The style of this poem was inspired by Cathy Dean's poem Rules and Regulations. Although Dean's poem is satirical and mine is not, I really liked the structure of her poem. The lines were short and to the point. I feel that you don't always need so many words to express yourself, sometimes the fewer the words the better. I wrote this poem because I have recently endured a break up and the words came to me easily. I hope you like it, and for those of you who have recently experienced a break up or still healing from one I hope that my poem helps you to see that you will get over it and that brighter things are in store for you. Keep positive!!
posted by Chrissy G @ 1:13 PM
2 Comments:
At February 8, 2005 at 10:36 AM,
Unknown said…
While breaking up is such a good thing to write about (especially poetry as it raises so emotions) it is, unfortunately, such a hard thing to do. I'm sure we have all had some sort of experience in this department and so it is easy to agree that poems like this are challenging to write as they bring up many emotions.
I like the idea behind your poem and the pattern in which you wrote it (all the lines are short and the poem is straight to the point). One thing I found a little awkward was the fact that it sounded very 'constructed'. By this, I mean that the rhyming scheme you used sounded very easy and not challenging enough to make it really count in my mind. When I think of a good rhyme that actually affects a poem in a way that is meaningful, I look more towards rhymes that flow a little more easy and are not as simple as these are. The way that I read it with these rhymes that you've used gives it a more stop and go feeling. After I read a rhyming 'couplet', there's a pause that takes away from the easy flow of this poem.
ie. "Goodbye/Don't cry" (Pause)
"It was fun/Now it's done" (Pause)
It takes away from the entire flow of the poem and makes it sound like a bunch of little rhyming couplets instead.
I really did like the idea and emotion behind this poem - and I think you have something that could really work. I just feel that the rhythm and rhyme scheme could be worked on to give the overall poem a better flow.
At February 8, 2005 at 8:29 PM,
anthonyferreira said…
I get the sense that the form of the poem you've chosen, including its rhyme and lineation suit its light discussion of the subject of breakups. The lines "It was fun / Now it's done" is a good summation of your poem which comes off as optimistic and lighthearted, which isn't what one would think of in relation to breakups. I also think the title 'Break up' also reflects the fragmented lineation of the poem - though this may not have been intended.
Post a Comment
<< Home